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Our friends with a woman, who has overcome many obstacles, and I respect her for that. But, she's repeatedly blindsided in relationships. Her husband left her, and it was a huge shock. Several of her social circle disappeared during that time, as they were focused solely on the spouse. It shocked her deeply. She put in increased attention in our friendship, and must have understood better the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, quite a few close to her have drifted apart and she isn't sure why. Her previous job turned on her, although she was highly competent, she departed without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Lately, we have each stepped back from work and are seeing frequent meetups, yet I realize my position in our friendship is to listen. I start subjects but she shifts them to things she cares about. In terms of politics, she expresses unyielding views. I attempt to suggest double-checking information and different perspectives.

She has been arranging a vacation to a country I have traveled to on several occasions and resided in previously. I attempted to offer personal experiences, however, my input not welcomed. She really just desired me to confirm her decisions. I have come back from a month there and she wants to meet, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I am unwilling to be a friend who cuts and runs without explanation, however, I feel she'll truly grasp the effect of her behaviour on my confidence. Right now, my state is avoidance mode. What should I do?

Ways Forward

One option is to cut and run, yet this is seldom the easy answer we hope for. But confrontation with a view to working things out takes courage and willingness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially is to state what typically happens during your discussions. Aim for this to be objective and clear and essentially what a recording device would replay. Step two is to tell how this leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no dispute on this point. Your feelings are valid, of course. The third step is to question how the two of you will alter the interaction of your friendship."

Keep in mind your friend holds perspectives, meaning you must to stay open to hear that. One effective method is telling to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

It's wildly successful for promoting mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

This person might reject all you say, for those who have a “survival narrative”: they rely on a story about themselves they cannot let go of as it feels essential depends upon it and it's all they trust. It's tough because there's no thoroughfare here, mere obstacles. Yet she could start out defensively and then think on your words. And even if you never reach an agreement, it will give you satisfaction that you've been truthful.